In the gutters

Late yesterday afternoon I was walking. Walking with my eyes on my feet as I always do. You find funny things on the sidewalk, you know, when you're not staring straight ahead. You find the usual stuff, of course--pennies, thimbles, used condoms--but you find other things as well.

Once I found an unused opera ticket, for a show that night. The opera was on the other side of town, so who knows what the ticket was doing there. Some couple on their way, maybe their night was already ruined. Well, no use letting it go to waste--I tried to go myself. Of course, they didn't let me in with the clothes I had, but still--you keep your eyes on the street and you might get lucky.



Walking walking. And just like that, there it was, something sparkling in the gutter. It had to be something exceptionally shiny or the angle had to be just right, since the light was beginning to bleed off into the horizon. Well, maybe it was one of those lucky days.

And there it was. Not five feet in front of me was a sparkling twenty dollar bill. It glowed yellow and had long, sharp fangs. I bent over eagerly to pick it up, but realized far too late that twenty dollar bills are not yellow, and neither sparkle nor have long sharp fangs.

That's when the C.H.U.D.S. got me.