Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Better than equal to
And he kneeled, wound up, and delivered a crushing blow straight to my poor bum. It was bruised for weeks.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
I guess these are called 'cavies'
"JUST BUY A DAMN BUNNY," said the tremulous voice of the shopkeeper to the vapid hamster fetishists. Their faces contorted and twisted like the undulating contents of lava lamps into shapes vaguely reminiscent of surprise. A few patrons looked around, astonished, and even the old man himself was surprised by his outburst. Yet, he pointedly did not apologize, trying instead to brush over his ejaculation with the promise of free miniature sailor costumes. For there was something he desperately feared even more than social indiscretion--the discovery of his extensive femur collection in the cellar.
Friday, December 23, 2005
We should picket noise. Go on strike.
Let it never be said that the neurons which compose the auditory pathway and center are naturally firing at a constant rate which produces a baseline stimulus that is in practice indistinguishable from the effects of prolonged exposure to external sonic noise!
I SAID LET IT NEVER BE SAID.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space, who would win? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up.
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.
If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space, who would win? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground.
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
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